CAMPUHAN RIDGE WALK, UBUD BALI



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SIGNATURE PAULA MAREE



ARE YOU FEELING LOST IN LIFE?


Photo Credit: James Barker


In my 20’s I felt like I had the world at my feet! And as it turns out I actually did. But now that I’m in mid-30’s, still single and not quite sure where my career is headed, I can’t help but feel a little… Lost in Life.


I’m not married. And I don’t have children yet. Hell, I don’t even have a boyfriend! So what exactly is my purpose in life? And where on earth is my life actually headed?

Does this sound all too familiar and are you, too, feeling a little lost in life? Since turning 30, I’ve spent many late nights lying awake in bed, alone, pondering these questions. Is my career affecting my personal relationships? Should I find a higher paying job so I can save a deposit to buy a house? Should I move back to Queensland to be closer to my family, or just stay put for now? And it always leaves me feeling a little, well, lost in life.


The problem I face is not what I want to do with my life. But, when exactly to focus on each of the things I’d like to achieve!

I have a lot of goals and aspirations. I’d like to return to marketing at some point in the near future and also pursue a career in interior design. I want to improve my photography and creative writing skills to become a successful travel blogger. And above all, I want to continue travelling the world! But ideally, I would have also liked to be married with children by now. And in the past five years, this has had a significant influence on my career path and financial planning.


Even though I’ve tried to avoid putting my life on hold, I can’t help but feel that my life is currently in limbo!

I’d like to buy my first house. But I haven’t started saving for a deposit yet since I’ve spent all of my money on travelling! And I’m reluctant to move to the suburbs whilst I’m single. As I’m happy to be stuck at home paying off a mortgage. But I’d rather be stuck at home with my soulmate than turn into some crazy cat lady!


Also, I desperately need to upgrade my car. I’m still driving around in the same vehicle I’ve had since I started my career in my early twenties. It was my first ever car and it has served me well, clocking up over 250,000kms. But the mechanic has told me it’s time to trade it in. And I know he is right – mechanically I’m in definitely in need of an upgrade! Realistically, though, it’s going to take me a while to pay off a car loan. So my next car will probably need to be an SVU to fit in a stroller and all the other stuff that comes with starting a family. (BTW- A funny thing happened not long after I published this post! Read more here.)


Clearly, though, I’m not great at saving! I’m far too generous with my money, and I guess I’ve always figured that there are more important things in life.

But thankfully, I’ve been successful enough in my career to rent a modern inner city apartment and still save enough to travel the world! Yet I can’t help but feel that my pay cheque is not quite as high as I’d hoped. That corporate glass ceiling still eludes me to a point. Part of me wants to get back into big business to smash it down. And part of me wants leave paid work behind altogether and became an entrepreneur in charge of my own future and fortune.


2017 proved to be an extremely challenging year and I have faced a lot of financial hardship.

I have been forced to question what is actually feasible in terms of my career options at this point. Given that my biological clock is ticking, I do need to start setting myself up for the future. Which includes making career choices that will enable me to take maternity leave or work from home in the future. Finding the love of my life is not something that I can control though. Sure, I can put myself out there. But in the end, I truly believe that fate has already mapped out our destiny. So I’m hoping that my soulmate will enter my life when the time is right. But until then, I’m just trying to focus on setting my own personal goals and ticking them off in the meantime!


Each year, as part of my new year’s resolution, I set myself three personal goals to achieve that year.

They vary from year to year and may include a career goal, a financial target, a fitness goal or even a new skill I’d like to attain. A few years ago, a friend shared this idea with me. And it has changed my life completely, providing the motivation I needed to focus my mindset and bring meaning to my life! So, over the past three years, I’ve had a very clear life plan. I’ve set goals at the start of the year and worked diligently throughout the year to achieve them. This past year, though, I had to re-evaluate those goals for the first time. And to be completely honest, it’s left me feeling a little lost.


As it turns out, an unexpected turn of events changed my career path during 2017.

(Read that story here) It was disappointing, therefore, to not be able to achieve what I’d set out to achieve throughout the year. But it just proves that life is never predictable! And I can only hope that the new year brings some clarity and that a new cycle is on its way in 2018. It’s now almost ten years since my last serious relationship. So who knows, maybe my soulmate is going to show up on my doorstep tomorrow and everything will just fall into place. But until then, I’ll continue searching for the next path to take on my journey of self-fulfilment.


Have you been through a period in your life where you have faced confusion – or even fear – about what your future holds? How did you get your life back on track and learn to focus on living in present? I’d love to hear your advice! Leave a comment below.




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